Unglued

So I have not posted in such a long time. My life has been a crazy roller coaster ride since the last time I wrote. I mentioned Nicole before and how happy she made me. Unfortunately, at least for the time things with her have ended. I was the happiest guy on the planet when I was with her. When things ended, my world shattered. I didn't know what to do. I was so sad and so down. I never knew a broken heart could feel so bad. I knew I had hurt before because of things in the past, but this made them all seem like a joke. I was in pain and I was sad, the saddest I can remember myself being since my grandfather passed away. I know it seems strange to compare this sadness to that, but I mean it I killed me. I would like to say that I am over it but I am not. I was and still am in love with her. I have my hope that things will be back to the way they were. I hope that we will be together. I can say I am not hurting the way I was. Which is a good thing. We still talk on a regular basis and I am very happy about that. Hopefully one day we will be together again. Who knows what is out there for me Maybe I am gonna be with her in the end, maybe I won't. I am keeping my eyes open and my head up for any opportunities that come my way. But no matter what happens, I can say this for sure, this whole experience has definitely helped me grow. I understand things so much better, Nicole is the first girl I have ever fallen in love with, will she be the only? Right now I hope so, but we will see what my future holds. I know now what it's like to love and to like. I realize now that in the past I may have acted like I liked someone when in reality I was attracted to them and they were fun, now I know myself better and I will know whether I am just flirting or I like someone. Falling in love can really change your perspective on many things. I also realize, sometimes you have to fight for love and I am fighting and holding on as much as I can. I would do anything for her. Through this all not only have I realized things about myself, I have also realized who some of my best friends are. A lot of my friends have been there for me as support through this all, But there has been 3 friends in particular who I feel have really been a great support for me and there for me when I needed friends the most and there to talk to me whenever, those friends are Mary, Jalenna and Erin. You 3 are awesome, I have no idea how I would have made it through this without you guys, I would probably still be down and depressed. So thanks for the late night calls, and the constant texting, I am sure you were probably getting so sick of it, but you have been there for me, and it means so much to me!!!! Thank you :)